Have you ever received the comment: “You’re being fake. You aren’t being the real you.”
Now what in the world is that supposed to mean?
Immediately I get this image in my mind that my skin becomes rubber, my eyes painted wide-eyes and doe-like, and my hair is this mess of implanted strings of plastic shooting out in directions from my scalp (although this last one feels about right some days). I imagine a life-size Barbie doll in my place moving about rather stiffly and “being fake.”
How is someone who is not physically in my skin or mentally in my mind able to tell that I am not being my authentic self?
I can imagine anything I do or say is, in fact, still me. What if I want to go naked to Burning Man one day, and business suit to work the next, that can be me. If I want to go to a BDSM dungeon one evening and attend a love-tap healing meditation group the next, that can still be me, too. Say I get a breast enhancement one day and preach loving myself and who I am the next day, ok!! If I want to be cool, calm collected most days and then have a wild, crazy, sexy night, guess what. It can still be me, too.
Now the question isn’t so much “why are you being someone you are not?” but rather “am I respecting and embracing all the pieces that make up who I am without the mold or stereotype that society has already placed me in?”
I’m not saying you need to adopt the difficult concept of “I don’t care what anyone else thinks about me,” because let’s face it, even a part of us (no matter how minute it is) is conscious of what others think and are affected by it.
What I am saying is acknowledge those parts of you that make you that unique, authentic human being you are. Give yourself permission to contradict yourself and realize that it is not a contradiction or being “fake” at all!
And each of those parts are essentially good.
And be ok.