http://catmeyer.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/portrait-photography-girls-women.jpg 853 1280 Cat Meyer http://catmeyer.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/logo-e1504807596888.jpg Cat Meyer2017-03-15 12:24:012017-03-15 12:27:00'Not Tonight Honey.' Too Busy for Sex? Make it a Priority
Love making takes time. When we assign that time is money, then we become pressured to have thigns done as quickly as we can. The problem with this is that the body can take awhile to settle into relaxation, sensation, and arousal or orgasm. In the western world, goals, plans, and time rule our lives. These days it’s almost become chic to be ultra busy. Often we keep busy to avoid facing the insecurities or anxieties we may feel about love and intimacy.
What might be your TRUE underlying intention behind being so busy that you cannot fit in sex or cuddling or kissing?
Or what other excuses do you find yourself using to avoid sex or intimacy with yourself or with your partner?
I’m not suggesting you aren’t experiencing these, but get real with yourself…are they actually what you are experiencing, or is there a contraction occurring underneath that statement?
Some reasons could be related to:
Body image struggle, resentment, anger, wanting to avoid the present sexual problems including erection or orgasm difficulties, not feeling enough, insecure in your place in the relationship, feeling broken, feeling disconnected, worry about external factors/life/family, not feeling experienced or good at sex, self shame, worry our partner won’t think we are good at sex, feeling bored with your current sex life, feeling your partner isn’t present with you in sex, feeling your partner isn’t enjoying sex with you, past trauma, fear, difficulty relaxing and letting go, not feeling woman or man enough, beliefs surrounding what sex means to you, young children in the house, not being in love with your partner anymore, not feeling attracted to your partner anymore…the list goes on.
Any of those resonate?
When you can better identify what is the underlying factor you keep yourself so busy or using excuses, you have a better direction of how to resolve it. It can be scary to bring these conversations up; however, you don’t know what reasoning for your distance with sex are being created in your partner’s head…and they may be far from what you are experiencing OR it could be exactly the same thing!
Check out my video on Facebook Cat Meyer LMFT for more ideas of how you can make sex a priority again.