Your Beautiful Complexity

You are not a Flat Stanley.

As the daughter of an elementary school librarian, I am very familiar with Flat Stanley. And let me tell you, you are not him. You are multifaceted. More like the spherical prism that hangs in my office window, catching light and sending a multitude of rainbows of fragmented light across the walls in my therapy room. My supervisor calls it a disco ball. I call it the visual expression of all the parts that make up who you are.

Virginia Satir envisioned our selves as a mandala, or a circle, divided like a pie into 8 parts of the self. These parts included physical, intellectual, emotional, interactional, spiritual, sensual, nutritional, and contextual. She stated that each of these parts of self need to be nourished in some way on a daily basis to keep the self in balance. Imagine if we were to spend so much time in the physical–for instance, working out 4 hours per day. Notice how that physical part of self would become very large and another part or parts would become very tiny to accommodate. When you are able to give time and attention to each of these parts, notice how your energy shifts and you discover not only more of an abundance of it, but also a stronger sense of self and feelings of care.

You can even invite your partner to be included in these parts of self, too.

Some ideas to get you thinking and going (in order of listed above):

Go for a walk together. Do a crossword puzzle or read together, play MadGab. Read greeting cards at the grocery store to make you laugh or watch a romantic drama with your partner. Meditate or do partner’s yoga. Light a sweet smelling candle or touch the softness of your partner’s skin. Cook healthy meals together or take a cooking class. Create a clean space for you to live or go to a beautiful park.

So don’t think you are as thin and shallow as a paper cut-out figure. Embrace your complexity. Give the much needed attention to every part of your self and nourish them.

That is where we find balance.

That is where we find peace.