Bring the palms of your hands together in front of your heart center. Looking down at your arm configuration, understand that energetically we give through our right side and we receive from the world through our left. When these two meet equally in the center, we are at peace and balanced. Nice concept, right?
Now how do you really do with giving and receiving?
Giving can be beautiful. How full of joy and a place of abundance do you feel when you give to others. Givers can be the compassionate ones, able to feel the needs of others. Giving can also make us feel like we have a purpose, a place within the group, a reason to be there that reduces the likelihood that we get kicked out. hmmm….
Those of us who are mainly givers and nurturers and act in order to take care of everyone around us often times find ourselves feeling depleted at the end of the day/week/month wondering why we are sad/resentful/lonely/tired. Or maybe you feel stifled or overwhelmed. Look back, how many times have you told someone “Thanks but I’ve got it.” or “No I can take care of it myself”, “Of course I can help you with that on top of my millions of other things going on”, “I don’t want to be a burden” or maybe you don’t say anything at all or ask for any type of help, oh, because “you’ve got it.” Don’t worry, I know you.
Those who overly-give can learn to ask from others what they desire or need. They need to recognized their boundaries and stick with them: “What am I capable/willing to give, and then no more.” They need to allow others to give to them. You all know how good it feels to give, so why would you deny that same great feeling for someone else? Let them pay the bill if they offer, and do so without fighting over it so the poor waitress has to stand there conflicted.
Receiving also be very beautiful and often a difficult skill to maintain. Receiving are able to experience joy in accepting from others. It can be healthy when it comes from a place of positive self-worth, security of self, and lower ego. Appreciating and readily asking or accepting the help from others.
In healthy moderation.
For those of you who are mainly receivers and act in order to let others take care of you, or take what is offered (or not offered) without giving–whether that be to the same person or another–we can find ourselves feeling like we don’t have a purpose, helpless, guilty, entitled, or shocked when we find ourselves out of resources and have to fend for ourselves. Look back to how many times you demanded something from someone, manipulated to get what you wanted, expected something of someone knowing they did not have the time/energy to do so, taken without asking or offering back. This behavioral imbalance can come across as greedy and selfish and comes from a place of lacking or low self-worth. Those who fall more on this end tend to devalue their own ability to do/accomplish further perpetuated by the reliance on others to do it for them.
People who are overly-receiving, or dependent, can learn the joy and appreciation that can arise from giving to another. By giving, even in small untangle ways, you can begin to feel more full, that you do have your own inner resources and strengths, that you aren’t lacking, and you are enough.
A balance of both giving and receiving we do not come from a place of lacking. We do not give with expectation, trusting that the world will provide back to us when we give, whether it’s through the same person we gave to or not. Yet we are also able to set and maintain our own boundaries of what we want/can give. We ask for what we want and need and respect the boundaries of others and what they can give.
Where do you find yourself?